Today was so slack, it was boring!! Yes, yes I know... Complaining about things I should be grateful for. But all we did was march back & forth from the compant line to the canteen. Supposed to have a lecture in the auditorium behind the canteen but it ended up being a canteen break because of faulty AV equipment. I think we went to the canteen about 4 times today. Why do things like this happen when I have no money? Go figure...

Got a chance to watch Singapore beat Indonesia 2-1 yesterday night. The instructors set up a television set in front of the company. The Singapore squad look more like a complete team now. Hopefully their form will carry them into the SEA games. If they don't make it to the last 4 of the SEA games, they should be prepared to kiss goal 2010 goodbye...

Anyway, the outfield camp/exercise was surprisingly good. Kinda enjoyed the fighting patrols & ambush patrols. My night ambush exercise went pretty well except for 2 things. Night Vision Goggles & a minor screw up at the FRV. I shan't elaborate. Other than that, I think I enjoy this part of SISPEC. Maybe the tough part isn't here yet. But I trust that favour & grace will carry me through. I dare not imagine what I'll get myself into without Him.

2 days till I'm 22... Today I sat through another recruitment talk. They keep emphasising about having enough money to support your future family. They keep emphasising about how important it is to have a life plan. And how you're basically screwed if you don't. If you put 'logical' reality up against 'illogical' spirituality, which do you think makes more sense? Am I running into life unprepared? Is my desire to spend 2 years of my life in Rhema Bible School just a foolish ambition? The diploma that I'll get isn't even recognised by the methodist church!
Daryl... Can't you even throw yourself into God's work properly? Why of all things choose something that makes the least sense? Why choose something with the least security?

Doubt
You know what? I take comfort from the fact that doubt comes along my way. Because even Jesus had doubt. But more importantly, He knew His purpose & His desire was to please God. Doubt isn't the problem here. Its a natural human response to uncertainty. Its what you do with doubt that matters... Do you fall out? Lose the plot? Run away?
Or do you grit your teeth, clench your fists & stride forward with a quiet assurance and a smile in your heart that God is pleased with your obedience.

How can anything be more satisfying? However, I feel there's a need for some things to be left behind. To be a leader requires strength to shine forth. No more complaints. No more yearnings. However, new beginnings require new hope & motivation. I need to look past these 2 years...